Understanding My own Novel
Writing a novel while learning the craft brings challenges, such as not including information dumps (no matter how interesting they are to me), keeping the pacing on point, and many other grammar, spelling and structural must-dos.
As I enter into the (for me) final stretch of my debut thriller, and having listened to my peers and experts who have so generously shared their experiences with me along the way, I have evolved as a writer. Although I love and welcome suggestions that can improve my writing, story structure, and plot, I will never tire of receiving positive feedback and cherish critiques because they tend to be uplifting.
This blog post is about something different. I have kept my counsel regarding the story I want to tell. Sometimes, I will get a comment or reaction from well-meaning people that, if accepted, would take my account in a completely different direction. The thing is, I understand the story I want to write and share with future readers. So, when I get feedback in the direction I’m writing, you should see me jump for joy and accept those comments and suggestions.
My ego is not so big that I reject what’s good for advancing my writing and story. Here is the truth of it for me, I am confident in the stories I tell. That doesn’t mean everyone will love, like or even think they are of much worth. That’s fine. Last evening, as I read a book from an author whose work I admire, I remembered something that had sent me into a tailspin. I asked some friends to read a chapter or two of my thriller, and though most were positive, one stood out. Now, it wasn’t anything terrible or mean; it was simply a comment from an individual who wasn’t sure about an aspect of the story. They felt it could reflect negatively on a community. I thanked the person, rejected it and moved on, or so I thought.
Months later, I realized the comment had impacted me and had me second-guessing the value of the story I wrote. It isn’t the commenter's fault, but my reaction to the statement. As someone who is a queer, trans woman, married to a fine Butch woman and having participated in various ways to trans and other LGBTQ+ activities, I know how important it is to stand up for the community, especially in the present oppressive atmosphere. Being sensitive to how I write about LGBTQ+ people is big for me. So, I took time to reflect on what I had written as a story whose heroine is a trans woman who, despite her PTSD, not only works a serial killer case but also ends up having to fight off the killer in the end.
So, even though I have this strong queer, trans woman, protagonist, I was worried that writing about victims from my community might be triggering or inappropriate. That is the last thing I ever want to visit in the community. My debut thriller reason for being is about how LGBTQ+ people (like many other minorities) are too often targeted for abuse. The sheer number of trans women, especially trans women of colour, that are murdered every year is terrifying. That a real-life serial killer once roamed Toronto’s Gay Village is not lost on me. The mass shooting in LGBTQ+ Nigh Clubs demonstrates the hatred shown to us by bigots. This is why I chose to write the stories I write. For me, it’s not about being famous or becoming a best-selling author (I hope I do); it’s about reflecting reality with my creative take on it.
There is violence and gore throughout my story; the protagonist is imperfect, and PTSD has darkened her world. Yet, the emotional strength of the main character and her friends is, I hope, an inspiration. I guess what I'm getting at is that knowing and understanding why I write a story is vital. Clarity of purpose is what I work to attain.
Joelle Circé
