When I got through what I assumed was a decent number of drafts (I think it was four or five), I was sure that my debut thriller was as perfect as I could make it. In fact, I was in love with it. Leaving the manuscript sit for nearly two months as I figured out how to write query letters, synopsis and an author bio kept me busy.

Then, I sat down and read through the first paragraph a couple of days ago. I was shocked! As I read, I noticed that I was head-jumping. Going from one character’s thoughts to another and so on. I mixed in the third-person omniscient point of view with the first-person, then did the same for other characters. There was a problem, one I could fix. Instead of feeling defeated, I took it as a win. I could observe how to make a good story better. As I am correcting points of view, making the story easier to follow, I could see other issues and began revising. I changed where some information would be revealed, cut some passages and moved them elsewhere in the story. I’m still working on it, and this time, I know that I will be happy and proud to share it with anyone, even other authors.
Practice makes perfect was never a big concern of mine as long as I could create. A sister author once wrote a book about imposter syndrome, which helped me understand that it was ok for me to occupy space as an author. It wasn’t necessary to be the best writer in the world, only that I accept myself as the creatress I am.

I mention imposter syndrome because it had become my reason for not giving it my all. I can write a hell of a premise and create engaging characters, even have flashes of brilliance (in my mind, anyhow). Still, I knew I was holding back. This is when a more profound, more precise understanding of the craft started to kick in. Gone were the uncertainties that stopped me from digging deeper. Now, I know how much I want to write the best thrillers possible. I want to bring you, dear reader, stories that will keep you enthralled and turning pages. I want to write characters as I see them in my mind’s eye. I promise you a kick-ass thriller, filled with all manner of characters who will not leave you indifferent. I will entertain you with my stories, and do something more. I will represent the queer LGBTQ+ community to the best of my ability.

For now, I leave you as I get back to doing more revisions and preparing my debut novel, THE RAINBOW KILLER, a MARY DUBOIS THRILLER.