Why I write
It seemed obvious at first . At least, I thought it was a simple answer to a simple question. Why do I write? And then, I sat and pondered the question and was surprised to come up with several answers/reasons for writing.
I suppose the primary reason is that I love communicating with others. I find it helps me reflect on questions about life and living, and writing allows me to explore my areas of interest. I am endlessly fascinated by the LGBTQ+ community, Trans people, and feminism, and I love reading about queer individuals going up against hatred and coming out the other side victorious.
I love the thriller genre and wanted to write about a strong, though fallible queer, trans woman heroine. The idea was to set her up with personal issues that can easily be understood as plausible. It became clear to me that this heroine would have to, like many trans women going through or having gone through transition and all the trauma and joys that accompany our lives.
I didn’t want to create a version that was an idealistic, two-dimensional pastiche of the petite, slim, almost perfect model of the trans woman. I say this despite having long had such dreams for myself. She would be good-looking but with body image issues. My protagonist would deal with trauma and emotional pain that is sometimes a result of rejection and bullying. The main character begins as an ex-profiler who can’t deal with transphobia and bullying continuously, so she leaves her dream career. But she did adapt and became a novelist. This allowed her to remain in touch with others, but not so directly as to always be triggered.
The heroine is flawed, partly broken. She is always a step away from anxiety and self-doubt. I promise that she will get better.
Back to why I write, and this is key. I write because I have this pressing need to have the reader see and understand what it’s like to be different. I sometimes think I’m shouting into the wind and that it might all be for naught, and then I shake off the feeling because I know it is essential that I share my take on what it means to be queer and trans and a lesbian. It’s a big deal for me to add my voice in support of the LGBTQ+ community and to all my trans family.
So, I write because there is a shortage of trans women authors, trans stories and LGBTQ+ stories in general. At first, I wasn’t so sure it mattered if my voice was added, and honestly, I didn’t think I could bring something others would value. I realized that wasn’t the case. I write because my voice is different and can contribute to queer literature. By writing about a queer trans woman, I am showing that the main character's life, tribulations, and joys are much the same as any other human. I hope to also shine a light on how it might feel to deal with the fear of hatred based on one’s gender identity or sexual orientation.
I write to inform others about topics I find interesting, to persuade them that we are more alike than not, and ultimately, I hope to entertain you with my novels.
Joelle Circé
